star wars. Star Wars. STAR WARS! Love and Little Gripes

Posted by : | December 22, 2015

Once upon a time, in a Drafthouse far, far away, #tistheSundae and Morgan saw #StarWars Episode VII: #TheForceAwakens! I’d prayed in a recent blog for them to achieve Force-like balance between classic Star Wars and reboot Star Wars.

And… SUCCESS!!! STAR WARS REBOOT SUCCESS!!! Omg it was awwwweeessssooommmmmeeeeee!!!! It wasn’t ironic; it wasn’t relentlessly strewn with relatable teens hoverboarding around because forty-something production staff tried to capture the youth zeitgeist. It didn’t, in fact, chase youth zeitgeist at all. It created it.

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This Star Wars has it all. It’s internalized its past and set a true course for its future. It’s the perfect bridge movie. The inclusion of original characters is handled with appropriate reverence. It’s not like those mean-spirited Geico commercials that poke fun of past icons like blessed Kenny Rogers. And the new kids in this movie (remember I was so worried about the new kids because Natalie and Hayden were so terrible?) have real acting chops! And it really helped that I didn’t recognize any of them so I didn’t get distracted trying to place them. I learned the awful lesson of celebrity distraction with Matt Damon popping up in Interstellar. This was, thank the Force, no Interstellar.

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JJ Abrams delivered. So I’m just gonna open up a small gripes thread a la Comic Book Guy lol and nitpick some stuff because all the accolades are out there and we’re all collectively in love with this movie, as a species I mean, we’re all in, right? Right!

[SPOILERS]

STAR WORSES:

–What the hell is with the evil overlord hologram character? Did Voldemort and Gollum have a love child? Holy hell it’s CGI at its most awful.

–Dan and I agree that Kylo Ren and Stimpy looks nothing like his parents. Weird choice.

–Still don’t like the villain light saber that looks like a burning red cross.

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–Speaking of echoes of the horrors of racial and religious persecution, did I really need to see a Nazi-ish First Order pep-talk complete with arm-banded legions and red flags with stark insignias? I know they’re evil already. Doy.

–Though I’ve learned through romance that British people are a horrific lot never to be trusted, I still wonder why all members of the First Order crew have British accents. Plus the one Scottish repo man looking for trouble with Han. Get it together UK, quit being so villainous lol!

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–Fuck Greg Grunberg. Get him the fuck outta this movie. An X-Wing fighter pilot, really? Really? Did JJ lose a bet? Need his kidney? Wtf?

–Hey BB-8 is supposed to be female. They keep calling her buddy and “him” in the film. The rumors, then, didn’t pan out. NOOOOOOOO!!! I came into the movie thinking she was female, so I absolutely extra enjoyed her as a character. So to me, a female she is and a female she stays. #IStandwithLady8

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–Enjoy this Vanity Fair post about all the whaaaaa?!? celebrity cameos in this movie. Did you catch Daniel Craig? I didn’t but I did briefly see Thomas Brodie-Sangster of Game of Thrones and Tristan and Isolde. I also didn’t see Scream Queen‘s Billie Lourd and had absolutely no idea that she’s Leah’s daughter in real life!

–The person who fell off the thing and then the planet blew up… he’s fine, right? I mean, he’ll be back and stuff, won’t he? Good.

http://filmbalaya.com/2012/02/20/the-alamo-is-coming-to-san-francisco/

http://filmbalaya.com/2012/02/20/the-alamo-is-coming-to-san-francisco/ = source for awesome pic!

–I posed the question in my last Star Wars blog: Will it be annoying to have people serving food around me at SF’s new Alamo Drafthouse Cinema (and y’all know this San Antonio gal worships anything called Alamo)? The answer is YES. Very much so. No amount of champagne brought to my spacious table can mitigate all the employee crouching around my aisle chair searching in the dark for the table who ordered pizza.

–A galactic thanks to Morgan who had the foresight to reserve us tickets way in advance of the premiere weekend, and who made sure our package included schwag… may the champagne be with you.

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