The Flight Before Christmas

Posted by : | December 18, 2015

They glam up Mayim! Finally one of the most interesting actors on The Big Bang Theory busts out in a lead role and holds her own. I wanted to see this Lifetime movie, The Flight Before Christmas, because I’d read on Mayim’s blog on Kveller.com about how she was doing a Christmas movie, and she’s devoutly Jewish lol! I had to watch.

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Well the first thing I noticed, not to be a feminist dishing about a woman’s appearance, is that they glam the hell out of Mayim! She looks awesome! Because we usually see her nerded out on Big Bang, right? Here she is sans spectacles with fresh-faced makeup and some flirty fun fashion. Fabulous! I’m always particularly interested in her styling because as a Modern Orthodox woman she adheres to modesty rules. So you’ll never see her baring her midriff or anything. She wrote a ton of blogs about her search for an Emmy’s dress.

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So here she is our leading lady looking fine, and here’s our leading man, former model Ryan McPartlin, who’s super gorgeous. I’m already kvelling!

da-yum

da-yum

Well, look, it’s a Lifetime movie (like those glorious Hallmark Channel movies last Christmas!) and ended up not being the greatest. Yet I wasn’t able to turn away either. I had to know if these two lovelorn hearts, stranded by bad weather in Bozeman, Montana, shacking up together by necessity in the honeymoon suite of a romantic B&B, found true love in one another. Spoiler: Of course they did!

Mayim’s character’s family is half Jewish so there’s a shot of her mom baking Christmas and Hanukkah cookies. I’m not sure why the story needed this half Jewish detail? I’m cynically thinking that she had to be at least half goyish in order to snag the super country clubby male lead. After all, gorgeous lean long Ryan with his dazzle smile has to break up with his super gorge blonde girlfriend to make room for Mayim in his life. Somehow these two Aryan deities aren’t going to make it, and what Ryan really needs, it turns out, is a woman (named Stephanie, incidentally, so she’s obvi super gorge perfect) whom he describes as “loud” and “argumentative” and who has the chutzpah to do her own thing, dash what anyone else thinks!

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I’m not loud enough in the mouth sad face

Lol. So Semitic Steph (after throwing a hissy fit in the jewelry store where Ryan’s buying an engagement ring for his girlfriend) busts up the world’s most perfect looking couple and steals the chap for herself. Yaaaaay! If that’s not a message of the hope that baby Jesus brings to women of all races and creeds during the Christmakkuah season, I don’t know what is.

The other thing you need to know about this movie is that there’s a sort of Kris Kringle thing happening with a strange older man with a twinkle in his eye who keeps popping up trying to get Mayim and Ryan together. In order to corral these two, he fully torpedoes the lives of all the other passengers on this doomed flight to spend a couple nights in Bozeman and miss Christmas with their families. Ha!

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I’m just a regular older gent! Srsly!

And they establish the tension between our two future lovers by making Mayim’s character caustically accost Ryan at the airport and scream at him for cutting in line. It’s over the top and there’s no way to believe that she actually has such strong feelings about the silly sitch. It’s just a vehicle to be like omg she hates him at first but then she loves him oh so much. It’s pretty terrible.

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I super duper hate you! Like so much!

And the other terrible moment is when they get forced decide to go to the Christmas dance that the Montana town is having. There’s a kind of My Fair Lady moment when Mayim makes her appearance in a dress and Ryan is open-mouth awestruck by her beauty, which is hilarious (no offense) cuz her outfit is this like tacky Forever 21 bright blue lace schmatta. It’s not exactly Cinderella’s ball gown, although mice certainly chewed out that lace. You have to watch this movie just to see his awestruck damn face. It’s hysterical.

Otherwise her fashion is gorge! It’s just this one hysterical scene. The other hysterical thing about this film is that it truly takes a village to get these two kids together. Not only does an old man have to ground a plane for two days, but there also has to be a kindly couple running the B&B (Family Matters reunion!!!) to talk these two through it. They drag them to the town dance, and then they have to separately talk to the future couple, man to man and woman to woman, about taking a chance on love. And then the kids still get it wrong and leave Montana unconsummated! Ugh!

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Look who it is!!

The fated duo finally find their courage on New Years Eve lol. I tell ya. Cheesy Christmas movies are my guilty pleasure, and this one doesn’t disappoint in its glorious horribleness. So enjoy holiday dreams wherein you, too, can get a village of people and an elderly drifter to sabotage someone’s relationship and an entire plane of people and make y’all fall the hell in love. Easy Peasy!

Rating: 1 and ½ out of 4 scenes at the fair where she wins the bigger bear at the ring toss omg such gender bending!

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