Two Solid Hallmark Christmas Movies!

Posted by : | December 21, 2015

The two super solid #Hallmark #Christmas movies I watched and super enjoyed are The Christmas Card (TCC, 2006) and Debbie Macomber’s Dashing Through the Snow (DTTS, 2015)! Why? Because #tisthesundae #happyholidays #MerryChristmas yay!

What They Get Right:

Plots: TCC is about a hot hot hot military dude who receives a random holiday-card-for-the-troops in the mail at the hellhole where’s he’s stationed and falls in love with the lady writer. On leave for the holidays, he hotly heads straight for her small town on his manly motorcycle.

DTTS is about a hot hot hot hot FBI agent who’s posing as a regular guy but is really tailing a gorgeous woman who’s probably a perp. Storms cancel their flight (see also The Flight Before Christmas) and they’re forced to share the last rental car and drive to Seattle. She slowly melts his hardened heart with the help of an adorable puppy they obvi adopt along the way. Also apparently the movie’s namesake, Debbie Macomber, is a romance author so no wonder the plot’s solid.

Romance/Chemistry: TCC = emotionally closed-up hardened military man just back from battle with a heart of gold + lumber mill-owning country gal with a military veteran father who’s rooting for the military suitor over his daughter’s current beau, a supercilious fine wine merchant who drives a Porsche and can’t log good!

DTTS = gorgeous emotionally hardened former military man back from battle turned FBI agent with a heart of gold + whimsical craftsy lady who’s a precocious knitter and ornament maker. And a criminal?!?

Romantic Tension: TCC finds our military man in love with our country gal who’s sorta in love with her shmancy fella who hates the country omg. But our sergeant saves her dad’s life and gets invited into the bosom of the family, working at the mill, logging super good and looking great in flannel. The father keeps trying to get these kids together, including sending smokin’ sergeant out to rescue his daughter, whose truck’s stalled, in the romantic horse-drawn sleigh he’s built. Obvi!

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yeah I know I woulda gotten to you faster in a car, but…

DTTS finds our FBI agent in a quandary of the heart: He’s gotta do his job! But he’s falling hard for his coquettish criminal! He’s starting to… dare we say it… believe in her and therefore the goodness of humanity? She’s been in love before with a man who betrayed her. Can her heart handle another bump in the road? Will he tell her the truth about himself? Can he convince the FBI that she’s innocent?

Casts: TCC = the fabulous Ed Asner that ol’ rascal as the meddling dad, plus gorgeous John Newton, who was once Superboy (!) as the Sarge and Alice Evans as his lady pen pal. Oh wow according to the IMDBs, good ol’ American country gal Alice is actually British French super Euro and married to that hot living Forever medical examiner Ioan Gruffudd. They met on the set of 102 Dalmations, as one does.

Edward Asner plays Luke Spelman, the owner of a family run logging and lumber company. He befriends a soldier(John Newton), who saves his life, and discovers the young man has come to his small town to meet the person who sent him a hand-made Christmas card while he was stationed in Afghanistan – Luke’s daughter, Faith.

DTTS = omg it’s Little Red Riding Hood from Once Upon a Time!! The gorgeous raven-haired Meghan Ory is the bombshell knitter and she gets to kiss the truly swoon-worthy Andrew W. Walker (W. stands for Wow I’m assuming?) who played an outlaw on my favorite Western ever, Hallmark’s When Calls the Heart (review here)! Talk about a Hallmark gigolo…

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oh my, what big… you have…

Parts I Super Like: I’ve been studying wine lately, so I absolutely fell off my chair when I saw a scene in TCC where the fancy boyfriend tries to lead the lumber mill family in an Alsatian wine tasting. Greatest line goes to Ed Asner for, “I prefer a French fry to a French wine,” LOLZ! Brace yourself for falling off your own damn chair.

In DTTS I super like it when our Little Red Riding Hood adopts a puppy from a tough-looking biker dude and wants to prove a point to her hardened FBI dude. She’s all the way I know if someone’s a good person is if they believe in Santa Claus cuz then they believe in hope and generosity. Like adults. For realz. So she bats her adorable eyes and asks the biker dude if he believes. His epic reply is, “No, I’m Jewish.” Drop the mic baby!

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Points Where I Disagree: In TCC the movie works hard to vilify the posh suitor of the country gal. He proposes and is all hey girl we’ll travel the world and go to the great wine regions and celebrate Christmas in Paris etc. And she’s all like wow how awful I’d so much rather stay at the mill with Ed Asner, how can you be so rotten and horrid? I mean if it were me, dear readers, I’d no doubt choose the international wine guy over the sergeant who literally barely says three words to her the whole time, just broods and chops wood. That’s hot for a night but not forever.

In spite of the fact that Faith Spelman (Alice Evans) has a boyfriend, she and Cody Cullen (John Newton) can’t deny their feelings for one another. Unbeknownst to her, he is the recipient of a Christmas card she sent to “a member of the U.S. Army.”

That one thing I said musta really worked!

In DTTS the FBI investigation part of our movie is hysterical. So the major point the FBI has against Little Red Riding Hood is that she’s a perp who’s gonna make a drop and it’s like bad for the country and nefarious. The whole time they’re driving on this road trip, the mysterious box in question is in the trunk. It’s large and red and looks like a present. Never once does our intrepid agent with a heart of gold simply open that box to see what’s in it. The movie climax is all the FBI agents surrounding Little Red and opening the box. Which of course has an Etsy-ish ornament inside. Plus also why huge ass box for tiny ornament? Anyways, delightful FBI fail.

Stranded at an airport at Christmas-time, ASHLEY DAVISON accepts a ride from DASH SUTHERLAND, who has just rented the last car in town. Ashley sells crafts for a living, while Dash is supposedly a house painter. Although they initially clash, romance soon blossoms during their journey -- but the fact that Dash is a secret FBI agent who has been assigned to monitor Ashley, a suspected enemy insurgent, may ultimately put a crimp in their fledgling relationship... Photo: Andrew Walker, Meghan Ory Credit: Copyright 2015 Crown Media United States, LLC/Photographer: Eike Schroter

Photo: Andrew Walker, Meghan Ory Credit: Copyright 2015 Crown Media United States, LLC/Photographer: Eike Schroter

These Movies v The Flight Before Christmas:

How TCC and DTTS beat Flight is how the romantic tension between the couples-to-be is solid. I totally bought their burgeoning love in both cases and was totally invested in their successes. The set up was just so much way better. The initial stages of getting-off-on-the-wrong-foot-ness are handled with subtlety and believability. The fit that Little Red throws at the rental car counter with her future man is much more believable than the fit Mayim Bialik throws at the airport with her future man. Little Red is super annoyed that the rental car guy gives hot undercover FBI agent the last car based on a bribe. Totally reasonable. Mayim screeches at her future model love because he sorta gets near her in line and she decides he’s super cutting.

Stranded at an airport at Christmas-time, ASHLEY DAVISON accepts a ride from DASH SUTHERLAND, who has just rented the last car in town. Ashley sells crafts for a living, while Dash is supposedly a house painter. Although they initially clash, romance soon blossoms during their journey -- but the fact that Dash is a secret FBI agent who has been assigned to monitor Ashley, a suspected enemy insurgent, may ultimately put a crimp in their fledgling relationship... Photo: Dylan Archambault, Andrew Walker, Meghan Ory Credit: Copyright 2015 Crown Media United States, LLC/Photographer: Eike Schroter

Photo: Dylan Archambault, Andrew Walker, Meghan Ory Credit: Copyright 2015 Crown Media United States, LLC/Photographer: Eike Schroter

What the films all have in common are settings in impossibly charming quaint 1950s Americana throwback adorable Christmas village towns. Apparently they’re all the hell over the place!

So there you go. The slings and arrows, triumphs and tribulations of three made-for-TV Christmas movies. Winners? Well Hallmark totally blasts Lifetime outta the romance water. Now get out there and get stranded transportationally! It’s how 4 out of 6 humans find love this season lol. TV teaches us so much…

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